The Land of Boys

Learning to live in a house full of testosterone

Archive for the tag “lying”

I Think God Smited Me For Lying

Can I just start off by saying that I am not a good liar? Not that I try to lie much. It’s not one of those things that I strive to be better at, but occasionally it would be nice to pull something off. Like recently, it was Mark’s birthday. So, for the past month, the youth group and I have been planning a surprise party.  Which would probably not be a big deal, for normal people. We talked about it on the weeks where Mark was working during church service and I had to teach. So, in talking to Mark afterwords, when he would ask if anybody had anything interesting to say at church I would….uh….stammer…and… uh…..just say “not really”.  I couldn’t just come up with something. I had this fear of letting it slip that we were planning a party for him, complete with nerdy fun games.

Pin the Beard on the Theologian

Then one day, the unthinkable happened. I got a call from M., boy in the youth group.  Mark was HOME! He was the one who answered the phone. So M asked for me. He was asking some stuff about the party. I went on the back porch to talk. I don’t really like the backyard. So, talking to a teenage boy-weird, being on the back porch-even weirder!  Mark asked what he wanted. Uh….Well…..he….wanted….to know…….uh….(looking around and seeing noodles boil for macaroni and cheese) WHATKINDOFCHEESETOPUTINMACANDCHEESE! 😀 {Mark is now looking me strange} “Ooooookay.

This same boy called another day, and once again, Mark was home. (you’d think with Mark working 12 hour shifts he would be gone when the kid called, but nooooo) “What did he want?’ “He…uh…forgot what kind of cheese I said so…. he had to call back.”  I am pretty sure by this point my poor husband is beginning to think his wife is some kind of weirdo. He just replied, “Does it make you feel good that everyone wants your recipes?”

Day of party. I am antsy. I had already printed the game off from Church History ABC. I got the boys to color it while Mark was asleep. (He worked the night before his birthday) We were coloring away and thought we heard Mark getting up. ACK! WE had to grab everything and make a quick run to another room. Part of the plan is for J (another boy in youth group) to call Mark and ask if Mark will come over to his house and help him with  studying Jonah. (He and Mark are actually studying that book) What if J forgets to call? How am I going to get Mark out of the house so we can decorate? A few random times throughout the day I broke out into a cold sweat. Oh, not to mention our county is under a tornado watch until 5:00 pm. Ok, that’s not great but our party was supposed to begin at 5:00 so maybe the bad stuff would be over by then. M called. Asked if party was still on since the weather was so bad. Yep, used the same cheese lie. About 2 minutes later J called. I told Mark it was girl trouble. He was a little weirded out. He kept asking, “That’s all he said?” Me: “uhm-hm”.

So, I turned on the weather. More storms were coming. We were under a WARNING, not WATCH, with another line of storms coming. So I ended up spilling the beans. Telling him the whole story. And calling the youth to tell them the party was off. Oh, how sad!!! Instead of traditional presents, everyone was asked to pick a verse from Romans (Mark’s favorite book of the Bible) and memorize it. Mark had requested Honey Chicken and Fried Rice for his birthday meal. So I had gotten 5 pounds  of chicken. FIVE pounds of chicken that I had pounded to a nice little thinness and then cut into bite-sized pieces. Pounded and cut with my poor arms that were already  sore from cleaning up limbs that had fallen across the yard during a storm Monday night/ Tuesday morning. Oh well, all’s well that ends well. At the time people were supposed to be getting here, there were deer in the road. Someone could have gotten hurt, messed up their cars, or both. Normally when I cook Chinese food, there are very few leftovers for the next day’s lunch.  There is currently a gracious plenty of leftovers right now. We had fun playing our party game by ourselves.

Do you like how the boys colored John Calvin to more like Mark than Calvin?

Samuel, who was born on Calvin’s 494th birthday, wearing a Calvin beard.

We actually enjoyed the game quite a bit. We were going to play a second time, but it ended abruptly with someone who shall remain nameless passing gas on the birthday boy. Nothing like THAT to spoil a good time. Shortly after that the weather got worse and the power went off. So instead of a loud party with a bunch of teenagers, we had a quiet, candlelight night at home with our boys.

Moral of the story:

The heart of man plans his way,
but the LORD establishes his steps.

I was doing what I thought Mark would enjoy, but God knew that what he wanted was to have a nice quiet evening at home. So, He sent a storm to change my plans. My scheming, lying and planning was undone. God does not bless deceit.  From now on, I will be honest with my husband. It is much less stressful that way 🙂


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